I should've known

All I know, was you were once called mine

Back when you, tried to be so kind

The uncertainty, behind those smiles

The questions that hung behind those eyes

 

I should've known you weren't the one for me

When you said "yes", the day that you were lonely

 

All I know, was you were once my life

Now, I know, you probably felt obliged

You loved my words when you were dry

You loved the space when you felt high

 

I should've known you weren't the one for me

When you said "yes", the day that you were lonely

 

 

 

 

-----

Old Summer

 

It still lingers

A handful of seasons never erased

The scent of your hair

I never really held it close

Though

You were always there

And all I'll ever know are faint

Reasons

Intentions

and Memories

These, and that scent from the old summer.

 

I've forgoten how it is to laugh

To smell the sweet scent of the early dawn

You took with you a piece of me

And it's fantastic, the way you don't even realize it

Elementary musings you might say

I'm just tired of perfecting anger

I'm never any good at it

I must say I'm getting better and better

Moving faster

Past this cloud saturated with memories that are responsible for the raining of tears

Go away

May the monsoon winds bring you far from here

Or may it take me instead

To a place where you yourself haven't even been yet

A feat, considering the aimless wanderer you are.

 

 

My cup is filled

I hate you.

I've had it.

You've broken me.

For awhile

 

To the best of my ability

I'll forget the words you ever said to me

You made it seem so sweet

But your promises were half empty

 

And you blame it on your memory

 

You take back the little that you give

And what I hate most about you

Is your inability

To be prudent

 

If you had the slightest tender thoughts

You wouldn't leave me hanging high

Then cause me now to fall

With your selfish alibis

 

And you blame it on your memory.

That you forgot how it felt to cry

You forgot how real tears brushed your eyes

You've been broken so many times before

You couldn't tell bitterness from a bar

So used to the pain, it's turned you cold girl.

It's turned you cold.

You're the winter in my life.

An angel in the ground, that fades with the night

 

So used to the noise, no volume of love can make you look my way

I'm shouting in your ears

You don't see affection when it hits you in the face

 

//And what you don't have, you can't give away//

You say you love, but it's all just a claim

 

 

My cup is filled

I hate you. I do. I'm sorry. 

 

 

Writing exercise. Wrote in 2 minutes,  single draft.

 

-----

 

There is no doubt

That the drunken heart will fail

To see what’s right from wrong

I’ve been drinking for far too long

Your words are streams, intoxicating promises

I wish to cover my ears, yet my mouth yearns to taste you again

I am insane

Call me crazy and calculated

A bunch of candles lit in the dark—my passions

All glow, but die one by one

You blow me kisses in the air

The lights go out

A bright promise is now reduced to a bunch of smothered wicks

Smoke arises, a curtain to hide me and my tears

Should I go with the wind this time?

And join her where she wills?

It will once again be a cold ride without you

Unless you send me a bottle of red wine

Reminding me of your lips and

To warmly accompany me on this solemn trip

Alone.

 

What is right?

Go on

Don't listen to me

I don't see you anywhere though

But stop disturbing my peace

Tell me now

That I should leave

Go on without you and never look back